You Have to Go Through It

I've been thinking a lot lately about the famous children's book, "We're Going on a Bear Hunt". In this book, a family with young kids is trudging through difficult terrain to try to find a bear. They pass through mud and high water and a dark cave and the recurring line is,

"We can't go over it! 

We can't go under it! 

We have to go through it!" 

This imagery of this family trudging through the mud instead of finding a safe and clean way around has been helpful for me lately.  I've been finding myself desperately wanting to find a way to go over or under or around the emotions and loss that this transition to Kenya is bringing right now. We're starting to enter "the thick of it" as we get closer to selling all of our things and moving out of our house at the end of next month. The losses are starting to feel very real and tangible to us right now. 

We are currently in purging mode. We got rid of all of the "extra" things you accumulate so easily when you own a home- old laundry detergent jugs, broken electronics, the tiny toys you're always stepping on but no one seems to actually play with. Now we are moving to thinning out what we own and choosing what we will keep, what to give away, what to sell, etc. 

With these decisions come big emotions. It hard to let go of things. Things represent memories, which often bring stories we want to cling to- times of stability and of joy. It's hard to leave a house you love, one you brought multiple babies home to and have hosted countless friend in. It's hard to anticipate having to not live close to people you love and enjoy seeing regularly. I'm finding myself wanting to brush off these feelings by avoiding them or by numbing so I don't have to feel it fully. 

God's grace to me this time around in moving to Africa is I can't brush off how I feel because I need to help shepherd the girls through the emotions that come as well. How can I help guide them if I am ignoring the stirrings inside of myself? I want to feel the emotions and bring all of it to the Lord so that I can help the girls do the same. Their little hearts need so much help with this process. They can't understand why they have to let go of their favorite things and their comfy beds. I'm trying to see this as a great opportunity for the girls to learn that God is with us in the difficult "trudging". It might be messy and emotional, but He cares deeply for us in the midst of it all. 

Here are some glimpses into things we're trying to stay present in while also preparing for what is to come. 

I got to attend "Guest Day" at Audrey's school last week. Something we have done for 5 years now in our family and an event we look forward to each year. 

Ellie is still doing great in First Grade. This was her appearing like she was going off to college, but really it was flashlight day at school, so she just had lots of fun things to bring along! 

Our family has a tradition of going to Bruster's Ice Cream (a stone's throw from our house) each day on closing and opening days of the season. Tallie is benefitting from being the third child and her parents allowing her to have her own free "baby cone". She was living her best life. 

Please pray for us as we work hard to go through the emotions that are arising as we progress in this transition towards Kenya. Pray we can take time to bring our emotions to the Lord and face them fully without attempting to numb or brush them off. Pray also that we can all stay present to what is in front of us each day while also looking forward in hopeful expectation of what God is bringing us to and through.